A Personal Effect

It is difficult to tell the effect you truly can have on a person. Most times you’ll never know how deeply you have touched someone’s life. All you can do is live happily and completely, being compassionate to everyone and supporting them when they need it. However, I had the fortune of experiencing this effect first-hand the other day while talking with a friend at a coffee shop.

We were discussing future dreams and goals. I told her about my plan to become an art history professor and live in Japan and France someday. She is getting married soon to a man who became a dentist because it pays well, but now finds the job fails to live up to his own dreams. He wanted to be an astronomer but followed his parent’s orders instead. My friend became a science teacher, despite her own parent’s attempts to divert her attention to math. It was a more difficult path, but she chose it because that was what she truly wanted. She didn’t compromise. But now, she wishes to live in other countries and see the world and experience how other people live their lives. With her upcoming marriage, those dreams seem like less and less of a reality as she begins to feel the weight of societal and familial pressures.

So hearing my dream of travel and adventure unexpectedly touched a chord within her, and before I knew it, I could see tears welling up in her eyes. I had no idea that my words would have such a profound effect. It was such an emotionally charged and surprising moment that left me feeling deeply touched as well. It made me realize that one word, one sentence, can dramatically change the thoughts and feelings of another.  At that time, it didn’t matter our age, what country we are from, what language we speak, or what our race is. The only thing that counted was that we shared something special together; we made a connection on a human level. No bullshit. No stereotypes. Just two people having a moment of mutual understanding and admiration.

There have been times in Korea when I have felt I am not effective with my job. I felt that the children I teach aren’t really learning anything from me. But after this experience, I think that is no longer true. Just because one cannot always witness a response like the one in my friend does not mean it never happens. Her reaction has inspired me to recognize that my time here is not just about a job, about teaching English. It’s about the connections and interactions I have with other people. Sharing other people’s pain, hopes, joys, failures and many more are the real purpose of my journey here (and to any country I visit for that matter). That to me is the point of life; to have the privilege of many experiences alone and with others; to enjoy all aspects of life both good and bad; to truly live in this world and not just watch it pass by.

Even as I write this I am gripped with a feeling I can’t describe. Like I’m on the verge of crying and laughing, but I’m not sure which one to choose. I think it might be ok to pick both. Before I came to Korea I had a feeling that there was something waiting for me here to discover. I think I found out what that is.